An Anti-Catholic Goes to Heaven

Sunday, March, 11, 2008

Sunlight shines through the windows of a Sunday-school classroom. Yellow curtains wave joyously in the wind. The youngsters of Clinesdale First Baptist Church squirm in their seats as a tall man enters the room. Wearing a pressed, black suit, the preacher stands and claps.
"This is Hank Millian; he is here to speak about the errors of Roman Catholicism."
The rest join in clapping, then they sit, expressions intent on the new speaker.
"Kids, can you tell me first what is a false doctrine?"
One boy raises his hand and blurts out, "Saying that Jesus said something that he didn't say."
Another said, "Telling a lie."
The last to be picked suddenly answered, "Telling us something that's not in the Bible."
"Correct!"

----

"And...children, there is a big church out there who teaches all kinds of stuff that isn't in the Holy Bible. They teach that one man is the head of everything, that what he says is infallable. This man is not Jesus but he is treated like him, even called "Holiness". They put man before God. This church also teaches people to pray to the dead. They tell people to speak with Jesus' mother, Mary, thinking she could actually hear their vain repetitions. What's wrong with all this?"
One kid says, "No one can be Jesus but Jesus."
"Good."
"The Bible tells us not to talk to dead people."
"Good."
"The Roman Catholic church has been around for a very long time putting forth man's doctrines, not what's teached by the Bible. They tell us to trust popes, cardinals and bishops instead of God's Word. They have priests who can do things other people in the church can't. They give God's power to men!"
Boos are emitted from the gathered youngsters. A little girl grimaces.
"Do not despair," the speaker says, "Jesus wants the people in this church to be saved. We can teach them about the Bible and how Jesus died for us. We can turn them away from men and towards God."
Now there are smiles.
"What would you tell a kid who is Catholic?"
"Jesus loves you."
"..and."
"Don't worship men."
"All you need to follow is in the Bible."
"Good class, very good ! Let us pray:
O Holy Father, Lord Jesus please encourage us to reach out to those who beleive in false teachings. Help us to spread the Gospel and not the words of men. We pray together that priests, bishops and popes come to believe in you and trust in your Word alone. Touch their heats and rescue their souls. In Jesus' name, amen."
"Amen!"

-----

Waving goodbye to the children, the guest speaker leaves. He straitens his suit and leaves the Sunday-school building in a hurry to make it to his next speech, for the deacons, on tithing. He dashes out the door and looking out, crosses the street. In a rush, he jogs across unaware of the blue pick-up truck that slams on its brakes and knocks him flat.

----

Hank wakes feeling cold. Thick fog surrounds him. Getting up, he then hears the faint clinking of keys.
"Where am I?" he groans.
"My son, at the gates of the Kingdom," a man answers appearing through the fog. He wears a grey robe and over his shoulders, hangs a woolen pallium. His apparel looks as if it came off the streets of ancient Rome. In worn sandals, he clutches a cedar staff and tosses golden keys in his other hand.
"Oh my God!" Hank cries out falling to his knees, "Am I dead? I''ve made it to Heaven?"
"Get up!" the man scolds, "For I am only a man."
Recognizing this quote from Acts of the Apostles, Hank cries, "Sweet Jesus! You are Simon-Peter!"
"I hold the keys to bind and loose. Why, Hank James Millian, should I let you into Heaven?"
"Because Jesus, the only Son of God, died on the croos for my sins and I trust in him completely for my salvation."
"Good," the saint says,"Did you repent of your sins and were you baptized in the Father, Son and Holy Ghost?"
"Yes!"
"Did you observe the commandments of God?"
"Yes!"
"Love both your neighbor and enemy as yourself?"
"Yes!"
"Did you eat the flesh of the Son of Man and drink his blood?"
Hank paused.
"..What? Did I take the Lord's Supper? Why yes!"
"Did you examine yourself beforhand, discerning the Body and Blood of Christ?"
"I always ask God's forgiveness before Communion," Hank said, "and I know what it truly represents."
Peter stopped and asked, "Represents?"
"Yes," Hank answered, "It represents the Body and Blood of Christ and his sacrifice on the cross."
"So, you have not eaten the Body of Christ and Drank his Blood- but only what represents his Body and Blood?"
Hank looked confused while Peter moved on, "Have you recieved the ministers of Christ as Christ himself?"
"Yes!"
"Do you know whom are the ministers of Christ?"
"Certainly those at Clinesdale First Baptist Church who teach the Word of God- and only the Word of God."
"Did the apostles labor in vain, ordaining elders in every church, for you to read the Word of God?"
"That's God's Holy Word, inspired."
"Did the apostles meet in vain, pronouncing the laws of God's church, for you to count them outside of this written Word?"
"No!"
"What of the spoken Word, preached by Paul and I, on the roads of Rome?"
"I've obeyed those also, Good Peter."
"Even the prescription not to lay-on-hands in haste*, to confess your faults* and depart from brethren who walk not after our tradition*?"
"Yes, Peter, you know I have."
"Were those faults of yours proudly witheld from the ears of a priest?"
"I don't see why you're making such a deal out of this," Hank said, "Aren't we all a royal priesthood*?"
"My son, a priest offers sacrifice and indeed you should offer up your very life as a living sacrifice to God*."
"Exactly!" Hank cried, "Jesus got rid of the old priesthood !"
Ruffling his grey brows, Peter replied, "And who did offer the sacrifice of the Body and Blood of Christ?"
"Christ."
"And did I- along with Paul, Timotheus and Marcus, in the house- churches, on every first day- the day on which Our Lord rose from death."
"How could you offer the Lord's sacrifice again?"
"Not again," Peter said, "but continually, as the Lord shed his blood out of mercy for us. Often as we did this, we proclaimed his death and rising till he come again*."
"I know what the Bible says," Hank replied.
"As a deacon, you repeated this: a server of widows and orphans celebrating the Supper like a presbyteros?"
"We are all prebyteroi."
"My son," Peter interjected, "In the house-church, we did not give unleavened bread for the children to consecrate."
"Nonsense, even a child can do such big things in the church."
"And the Messiah had children at the table of his Passover Feast?"
"Well...no."
"Told youngsters: "Do this ye in rememberance of me?""
Hank shouted, "No, he didn't!"
"So are we equal in duties for the church of God?"
"Yes, all equal before Christ*."
"One in Christ," Peter corrected.
Hank stomped his foot growing impatient. He said, "Why does this matter! I've lived according to God's Word and trusted in Christ alone to enter Heaven. I want to speak to the Son of God."
"For now," Peter answered, "I come in his name, by his ordinance, as the doorman of his house in Heaven and vicar of his house on earth."
"Peter, you are surely mad...or am I surely in Hell?"
"Michael the Archangel shall weigh your soul and send it to God, not me."
"I lived in Christ," Hank cried, "Now let me remain in him!"
Peter shifted in his cloak from one foot to the other and finally spoke: "Hank, I like you. Great is your zeal for the Lord. I shall let you pass but only after you answer me these three question."
"Thank God!" Hank exclaimed, "Let's get going."
"First," said Peter, "Who is the first amingst the last with the key of the house of David on his shoulder, both a shepherd and a sheep, who leads thousands like a father but grovels before a Son?"
"I don't know anyone like that," Hank admitted.
"So , you shall learn," said Peter.

-----

Hank sank below the clouds and his eyelids opened to see sunlight. Climbing afoot, he thanked the Lord because he had lived through that accident, then gazed at strange surroundings. There was a white hall before him and beginning to walk, he suddenly felt weary and old.
"What's happening to me?" he asked.
A man emerged down the hall, dressed in red garb and wearing a red cap. In his hands, he carried a golden rod.
"Take it," he said.
Not knowing what else to do, Hand grabbed the staff and bent over from its great weight.
"This thing is heavy, take it back," Hank said to the man.
"Yours not mine," he answered then rushed away.
Hank looked up and saw a moth circling a candle. Soon, it would dive into the flame and die. Filled with pity, Hank reached for the moth but it darted away from him even closer to it's death.
"No," he said, "Don't do that."
With a mocking swirl, the insect hit the flame and burned up.
"No!" Hank yelled.
More moths and butterflies of every color swarmed around the candle, each one swirling and diving to their death.
"Why are you doing this?" Hank cried, "I only want to guide you."
One moth flew in front of Hank's eyes and it spoke, "I don't listen to you because you are a man.."
At those words, it landed upon the flame and screeched in agony. Hank turned to run away and once again, buckled under the feeling of fatigue and age.
He cried out, "Peter, where are you! Please get me out of this Hell!"
At once, he arrived before Heaven's glistening gate.
"Imagine being amidst forty squabbling disciples and having to make a single pronouncement that's right for them all," Peter muttered, "A shepherd whos sheep rush over a cliff despite all your efforts to call them back. Tis a hard burden to carry."
"You were that old man," Hank declared, "I was you!"
"No, you were the man who takes my place."


"Second," said Peter, "Who is not the wife of any man but mother of many, a rose beneath the moon who is both maiden and queen, who bore no earthly children but lost one Son?"
"I don't know this woman."

-----

Hank again sunk down to earth. He awoke tasting dust in his nostrils and once more, praised the Lord that he lived. A camel stood beside him loaded with bags and blankets. A man's voice salled out, "It is time to leave, hurry!"
Hank shrugged, got up and tried mounting the beast. A heavy pain in his lower stomach shot forth. Cringing, Hank felt tears swell in his eyes. Once atop the beast, sand stung his face and feelings of greif overtook him. He imagined his son, Matthew, lost in the oncomming sandstorm and called to him.
"Where is Matthew?" he asked suddenly panicking.
An emptiness enveloped his heart.
"Matthew is the only son I have. Where is he?"
The voice next to him answered, "Dead."
Dread clutched his heart almost suffocating him.
"No," Hank yelled, "I clothed and fed that boy, taught him arithmetic and how to throw a baseball. He loves his neighbor because of me... was going to be somthing great. He's the world to me...how can he be dead!"
Hank slid off his camel and hit the sand. It was hard and cold. This pain and sorrow stabbed right through him. If he must bear it any longer, he swore he'd just die in agony.
"Peter," he wept, "Why did you take my boy? Please let me come up there and be with him!"
Peter stood beside Hank while he still wept.
"Be comforted, my son, for Matthew lives on earth."
"I don't know what I'd do if I lost him," Hank said, "Surely he is wondering where I am."
"You two shall meet again- and so did the maiden see again her son who once lay dead in her arms."
Hank suddenly said, "Mary the mother of Jesus... I felt her pain. Greater sorrow than death itself, it was."
"And should you not thank her for remaining at the side of Christ?"
"Yes, I thank her. Thank you Mary!"
"Your third question," said Peter, "Who sings aloud whilst drowning and speaks all languages, who is dry yet covered in oil, who sees amidst the darkness and rejoices when their life is lost?"
"Who?"

-----

Hank drifted down to the earth. He awoke standing in a pool of frigid water and thinking he'd drown, thrashed about. Dark figures were gathered around him, several others also stood in the water and many candles twinkled in the night. Hank shivered hearing a voice greet him, "Dominus vobiscum!"
He couldn't understand the language and merely mouthed some words in response. An old man in greenish robes hovered at the pond's bank, water staining his clothes and the wooled shawl around his neck. He cared not and spoke again, his voice echoing in their cavernous setting.
Hank vagualy smelled death. He realized they were underground, in a space set aside for burial. The pool he was in filled a shallow recess, muddy and very cold.
"Quid petis ab Ecclesia Dei?" The man bellowed. Hank suddenly heard another say, "What do you ask of God's church?"
Quivering in fear, Hank replied, "I don't know where I am!"
More words drifted overhead, "Fidem, the faith. Vitam aeternum, eternal life."
Next to him, a youth clutched an infant wrapped in dirty towels. The baby chirped from surprise as the elderly man waded towards them, scooped some brown water in a broken cup and poured it over the child. This, he did three times, while muttering more foreign words, and then to the man. He approached Hank and asked in clear English, "Do you renounce Satan and all his works?"
"Of course I do," Hank replied.
"In the name of the Father, Son and Holy Ghost, I then baptise you."
Water dripped in Hank's eyes stinging due to its filthiness. As time blurred, he remembered the touch of warm, fragrant oil on his forehead and drinking wine called blood, then hot milk.
Unlike his other journeys back to earth, Hank felt exceedingly happy this time. After drinking, he knelt on the hard, stone floor and joyful tears flowed down his face. A loud clamor of footsteps startled him and before he could leap to his feet, firm, gloved hands grasped him.
"...what the?"
Screaming broke out followed by shreiking. Those with him were slashed by swords. Their blood ran and mingled with the water left behind.
Someone now held a sword against him and Hank cried, "Why are you doing this? I am a good, Christian man!"
The reply: "Because you are a good, Christian man."

In front of Peter, Hank found himself knelt and whimpering. Gaining awareness of his new surroundings, he stood, clutched Peter's robe and pleaded, "I could not have died that way for the Lord, praise the martyrs who came before me, who faced the devil and gained eternal life. Please...deliver me and tell me I shall also share life with the Lord."
"Look," Peter said pointing into the distance.
Hank got up and saw there amidst the clouds of Heaven, multitudes of people circled around a shining light. Many men and women stood, some in rags and others in silk. A man wearing white vestements, crowned with a miter and holding a golden staff cast his ornate headdress to the ground and cried, "Holy, holy, holy, is the Lord God Almighty!"
Beside him, a young woman in flowing blue, a jeweled scarf covering her hair, raised her white hand in blessing. A crescent moon lay beneath her feet and she also raised voice in praise. Most notably, several men and women in dirty, Roman garb gathered there, each wearing a crown of red stones and holding swords.
"The martyrs!" Hank cried.
Glancing at him, they tossed down their swords and lifted their voices with the rest. Hank raied his hands crying out with them.
Peter stopped him saying, "These martyrs, you called dead. Those popes and bishops, you called liars and that Blessed Virgin, you called deaf."
"What shall I do," Hank stammered, "I've accepted the One, True Savior and lived by his Word...what did I miss?"
The crowd parted and angels, about fourteen of them with great silver wings and blazing halos, alighted in front of Hank and Peter. The old apostle grinned and fell to his face before the crippled, grey-haired man who leaned on an ivory shepherd's crook. His eyes were like azure and hands, like the purest light of dawn. Blood streaked from identical gashes in his palms; droplets of red pearl.
Lungs filling with breath, Hank gasped and collapsed at the feet of the Lord.
"My God, you've come to judge me."
A thousand voices answered him, simging softly in every known language, "Behold, I have come to save thee."
"Is all that Peter told me true? Shall I obey priests and popes? Have fellowship with these saints and flock to your house which is the pillar of truth? What, my Lord, is truth?"
"My apostle speaketh rightly. You will cherish an elder ordained of oil and the Spirit. You shall follow the ambassador who speaketh well of me, who declareth my Word and directs thee to righteousness: shall they be a high elder or wandering preacher. The saints are wherever I am, and my house- wherever I dwell. Where I beckon silently and give up my flesh to feed my sheep, ye shall go. Lack not the truth... for you now gaze upon it."

----

Eyes snapping open, Hank squints against a vibrant light. Tears drying on his face, he mutters and waves. Matthew's voice rings out like a perfect chime, "Dad...?"
Sitting up, Hank grabs his son seeing hospital walls behind him.
"I lived?"
Only a slight laugh answered.
"I went into Heaven," Hank said, "Peter was there asking why he should let me into God's Kingdom. He looked raggy and had this white scarf around his shoulders. Asked me so many questions..."
"Like what Dad?"
"Did I follow God's prescriptions, was I baptised, did I eat Christ's Flesh and Drink his Blood. I know it's wierd. He said I'd stay in Heaven if I answered three questions: the hardest questions too. Three times, I got sent back to earth. It was terrible. The first time, I was a pope. The second time, I felt Mary's suffering when Jesus died. Then I was baptized in ancient Rome, in the catacombs. Soldiers came and killed us all. I became a martyr.
I'll tell you son, I don't want to ever go through all that again..."
"Wow," Matthew sighed.
"But that's not the end! The saints in heaven were alive. I saw them all gathered about, men and women in all kinds of clothes, all nationalities. There was a tall guy, dressed in white, with a pope's hat. He threw it down and praised God. Then, this gorgeous woman in blue gown who had skin, white as snow, and jewels in her hair. She stood on the moon- not kidding. All the martyrs who died with me were there also, wearing red crowns and holding swords. These, they threw down and praised God. White angels were everywhere and then Christ, the Lord, came. Disguised as a crippled shepherd, he had sunlight in his face and blood dripping from his wounds like rubies. We talked. He said he came not to judge but to save me!"
"Dad, I'm just glad your back."